STEROIDS ARE THE NEW TWENTY

Steroid.com

DECEMBER 26, 2007

The positives behind a decade of usage

In case you didn’t get the memo, today (I’m writing this on Christmas Day, 2007) – I turned 30. All day I’ve been hearing that “thirty is the new twenty” and nonsense like that. I’ve probably heard that nonsense from my friends as much as I heard happy birthday or merry Christmas.

This puts me squarely in the sub-group known as Generation X, which is a catch-all term for people born roughly 10 years (either way) from my own birthday; we’re nihilistic©, cynical®, skeptical©, and feel both alienation© and mistrust® in traditional values and institutions. We are also very conscious of the fact that those traits are a pejorative/derogatory definition of us – but at least they’re ours and nobody else’s.

Generation X™ is also the first generation to have been predicted to earn less than their parents generation…a prediction which we’re living up to, according to the latest data.

But now that I’m 30 and can look back on Nirvana (the band, not the state of enlightenment) and see that it represents a good chunk of my past…I can hopefully also look forward to Nirvana (the state of enlightenment, not the band) and see that it represents where I’m going in my life.

Would it be cliché to say I owe it all to anabolic steroids?

I’ve been steadily using anabolic steroids since I was 20 (which is the new 10) and at the age of 30, I’m actually carrying much more muscle than I was at 20, and am healthier, and stronger. Clearly this isn’t just from being ten years older, it’s from ten years of using steroids. I’ve been on them for more time than I’ve been off of them, and I’m entering my 30’s with a testosterone level of 958ng/dl (1000ng/dl is the highest end of normal). When I was 19, my testosterone levels were 638. My cholesterol is normal, my blood pressure is normal, and by all accounts, I’m not just normal…but I’m actually very healthy.

So I’m beginning the third decade of my life with a hormonal profile far superior to the one I entered my 20’s with. Thirty is the new twenty? I hope not, because (largely) thanks to steroids, I’m physically in a much better place than when I started my 20’s. If you take a look at all of the available medical literature on anabolic steroids, my case is not atypical. When men take steroids, by and large, they experience much of the same that I have. So why the traditional - and widespread - condemnation of steroid use? Is it any wonder that my generation is skeptical of traditional values and institutions?

Thanks to anabolic steroids, guys like me (and Barry Bonds, and Jason Giambi, etc…) are in our thirties and (when we should be on a physical decline) are surpassing the physical condition we were in during our 20’s. And, at least for me, there’s no going back. I want to be stronger and healthier at 40 than I was at 30 (right now). With the right hormones (yes, anabolic steroids) – that’s not an unreasonable goal.

I’ve looked back on my 20’s with the hindsight that being exactly thirty years and zero days old has given me, and here’s what I came up with, by amount of time (by year) that I was involved with different things* that I feel defined that decade of my life (not in any particular order):

 

 

 

 

•    Being involved with a sport at a very competitive level – 100% (10 years)
•    Coaching a sport at a very competitive level – 45% (4.5 years)
•    Being in prison – 5% (1/2 a year)
•    In School – 20% (I had 2 years left when my 20’s started)
•    Working as a teacher – 40% (4 years)
•    Working as a steroid author – 33% (just over 3 years)
•    Writing my first book – 10% (1 year)
•    Writing my second and third books (combined) – 2.5% (three months or so)
•    Living in the United States – 84% (8.4 years, give or take)
•    Living in New Zealand – 16% (1.6 years, give or take)
•    Living at a military academy – ~1% (roughly a month)
•    Being married – 20% (2 years)


For most people, there’s a trade off between getting older and becoming more established in life (career-wise, relationship-wise, family-wise, etc…) and well…getting older. For most guys, getting older brings with it a bunch of physical stuff that they do not want. This is the trade off, I guess…you trade some of your physicality for the other stuff I just mentioned. I don’t actually feel like I traded any of that though. If anything, I’ve moved forward…and at 30, I feel like I lived a lifetime since I was 20.

Anabolic steroids may help fight diabetes, obesity, senility and dementia, and a whole bunch of other stuff that I’m not worried about until I’m about twice as old as I am now – but I’m glad that started using them when I did, and that they’ll be in my corner when I’m at that stage of my life – which right now, is literally a lifetime away.

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*Note:  Much of this timeline overlaps, and many of the times involved are either much shorter –or longer - than they would have been if they were by choice, I had any other option, or any other alternative.

 

 

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